I have been in some terrible relationships y’all. If you’ve been following me for awhile, you’ll know the kind of men I used to date and the way I allowed them to treat me. I was jealous of other women, jealous of what they had and I felt like I could never have that. But after years of working on myself and marrying the most wonderful, respectful man, I thought I was past all of that jealous bullshit. But something came up for me recently that was unexpected.
I was on Hamish’s phone on the explore section of his Instagram and there were all of these hot women in workout gear popping up. I know that the explore section fills with what you search for – it’s all algorithms, so I was confused.
I immediately started thinking that Hamish mustn’t like my body, that he’s looking at fit women because I’m not fit enough, that he doesn’t want to have sex with me…all these things that deep down I know aren’t true.
So I confronted him about it. I asked him straight up why there were all these women on his feed and he told me honestly what was going on. It wasn’t that he had been looking at women, that he didn’t appreciate my body – he tells me all the time how sexy I am. It wasn’t anything like that. He was just looking at fitness clothing.
I had made up this story in my head about what Hamish was doing and it all stemmed from what I had dealt with in the past.
If you’re jealous or comparing yourself to other women, get excited about that. It means you can work on it. You can heal that and change your story.
The three questions I asked in this episode are:
What actually happened?
What did I make it mean?
What else could it mean? (this is the game-changer)
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