I want to chat about a topic we don’t talk about much – Anger.
Anger can mess you up and make you feel out of control.
All my childhood trauma caused me to build a hard outer shell, refuse to let anyone in, and constantly have my guard up. Does that sound familiar?
But the shit that protected you as a child, will fuck you over as an adult.
I’ve learnt that true strength comes from exposing yourself and being vulnerable. I had to do the work to become softer so I could grow and let others in.
Become the lioness in the room. Use your anger, don’t let it use you.
Don’t give anyone the power to make you feel like shit. Take a deep breath and reflect on why you’re getting angry.
Anger isn’t bad, it can be a very useful tool. I’ve always got my alter shego ‘Juanita’ in my pocket ready to go. From anger comes action but it has to be the right action.
Don’t cut yourself off from everyone. Life is about living and we have no control. So live your life to the fullest. Let love in, love passionately and connect with others.
Topics discussed and where to find them:[1:14]: My upbringing in Boston caused trauma. I’m learning in a course with Dr Gabor Mate that your hard shell from childhood trauma protects you but getting soft allows you to grow. [3:03]: Expose yourself and be vulnerable. [3:49]: My anger, ‘Juanita’, isn’t bad. But now I know when to call on her. My softness and my ability not to react is my strength. [5:14]: When you become a hard person, nothing and nobody gets in. [6:13]: The shit that protected you as a child, will fuck you over as an adult. [7:06]: Crying breaks your wall. [9:06]: ‘Power vs force’ book recommendation. Anger and making someone agree with you is not powerful. [10:36]: Lesson I learnt from commenting on a social media post about the pandemic. [14:24]: The insecure part of me that has unhealed trauma wants to react with anger but that doesn’t make me strong. [15:31]: Sometimes I need my anger. It’s a tool and I use her when I actually need to. [16:54]: Shame is the lowest emotion. Action comes from anger. [18:23]: Work with me in the Sistahood year long coaching program to learn to be powerful, strong and confident while being soft and nurturing. [19:44]: When you’re angry and pissed off, take a deep breath. Check in on yourself why it’s upsetting you. [20:49]: Some people are free but are imprisoned in their mind. [21:21]: The Queen of Confidence is my alter shego. Pull out your best self. [22:42]: Become the security guard of your mind. With life comes risk. [24:30]: Don’t fight with anyone on social media [25:06]: How to join the Sistahood.
Book recommendation: Power vs Force by David Hawkins M.D. PhD.
Dr Gabor Mate: Addiction Expert, Speaker and Best-selling Author Dr. Gabor Maté (drgabormate.com)
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- Website: www.thequeenofconfidence.com