It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility

Everything in my life is my responsibility. This is my mantra and it has served me my entire life.

I talk openly about my past; about the sexual abuse, growing up with a mother with bipolar, being in the foster system, my husband dying. It’s a lot… and none of it was my fault. But I’ve learned that I have the opportunity to choose how I respond to the things that were out of my control. 

This topic has been coming up a lot with my clients lately and it’s something I feel so passionate about. This episode is all about taking responsibility for those terrible and horrible things that have happened to you and turning them around for your good. This is the work that I constantly do and teach to my clients. Those things are never our fault, but they are our responsibility.

So my challenge to you today is, what area of your life can you take responsibility for? Maybe it’s managing your emotions and not flying into a rage when things go wrong. Maybe it’s looking at the state of your relationships, your bank account balance or things going wrong in your business.

In life, things will happen that are completely out of your control. You don’t get to choose what happens, but you DO get to choose how you respond. 

It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility.

Be encouraged, my love.  You can make your life whatever you want it to be, no matter what has happened.


[1:55]: My story feels so big and I broke it down into podcast episodes in the Life Lessons Series

[2:45]: When Hamish would leave the house and be out late, I would freak out because of the experience I had with my first husband. If we’re not careful, we can manifest the same circumstances of our past into our future.

[4:13]: Responsibility is your ability to respond. Not taking responsibility is blaming someone or something else 

[5:30]: So many things happen to us as kids that are not our fault but as adults, it’s our responsibility to work through them and overcome

[7:00]: If you want your life to get better results, consider that there’s an area that you can take responsibility for

[8:30]: When you get into defence mode, you are blaming other people. My mantra is “everything in my life is my responsibility”

[10:35]: When you take responsibility, the ball is in your court, which means you get to create whatever you want. You don’t get to choose what happens for you but you get to choose what you do with it

[12:00]: When you take responsibility, you find solutions and get to respond to yourself and anything that happens in life

[13:15]: Shout out to my Sistahood women who show up and do the work. I love you.

[14:00]: Join the 2021 Sistahood program!

Episodes we mentioned in this episode:

Life Lessons Series: 

Losing My Husband

Growing Up With A Bipolar Mother

Reuniting with my Dad after 20 years

Why I’m having surgery

Post Op

My journey with Lichen Sclerosis

Where To Find Erika: